Grandfather Clock
By: Cat Supawit
Dust danced in the meager light that shone through the one broken window of Argus’ Little-Corner Antique Shop. The rays bounced and cascaded along the old furniture of the store. It was a sight to behold at any given time, but as soon as the creaking Grandfather clock struck twelve, every single ray of light seemed to point at a simple wooden stand, as if practicing for a show that may never happen. But it did begin, on the day when a crystal bowl was left outside the shop.
I was the sole owner and only worker at the Antique Shop, so I could open up whenever I felt like it. The morning I found the bowl, was like any other morning; I got up, went to the corner cafe with the pretty waitress, and then opened up shop 2 hours later than the hour sign said on the door. Honestly, I almost stepped on the bowl before I noticed it was there. It was an old thing. Scratched up and dull, probably not worth anything at all. Maybe that was why the bowl’s owner had just left it there, they knew I wouldn't buy it from them. I picked it up and stared at my reflection as I walked into the shop; Curly brown hair, hazel eyes, that jagged scar on my left eyebrow from a game of tag gone wrong. The sight almost depressed me. I was such an average-Joe, with a basic high school education and a Psychology degree that I never did anything with. The only memorable thing about me was the fact that I owned the only antique shop in town. My dad had named the store after me, so I suppose it was only right for me to inherit it, not to mention the debt.
I wished you wrote more, it was so good! I can't wait for the final product :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks =)
DeleteI like it a lot! But try not to add *too* much description, because it makes your story seem excessively wordy.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Stella, you can take out the "only" in the first sentence of the second paragraph.
DeleteMaybe you should make it clear that somebody didn't want the crystal bowl, which is why it was left outside the store because when I first read this, I thought the bowl belongs to the main character.
Why does Argus being late to work matter? Also, is the description of Argus really that important?
Thanks for the input, and I completely agree ! =)
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